I walked a few steps away from her.
“Do you really have to go ?” She asked in a low sound.
“Yes, I own a completly different life now” I said without looking at her.
“And I do not fit in it” She said stopping me in middle.
I turned to her.
“You can fit anywhere. You can come to my life or go away from it anytime you want” I tried to convince without offending her.
“What do you want ?” She asked
“I want nothing but a peaceful life” I said to her with a fake smile.
“I will not ask for anything more, but could you just stay tonight ?” She asked, pleaded infact.
I moved towards her and showed her miss calls on my phone, “See, I have a worried wife waiting for me at home”
“I understand. But do you really want to go ?” She asked me as if she already knew its answer.
She knew me and she knew what was going on my mind. That hug had expressed all the things already.
“Ok, Don’t play with my mind, I can stay, but not for long” I agreed , I needed a little push to make me stay.
We came down from the bridge and sat together on the bank of the stream. There was nothing much to see in that night, only some blurred lights from distant bulbs was reflecting on the stream of water.
We had a lot to talk about but nothing to start with. We sat there silenty for next 10 minutes. All the words fell short to express what we felt inside. After a while I took some courage to speak.
“I always wanted to spend my life with you” I said and threw a pebble into the water.
“I was afraid, I was afraid of the pain we could go through” She said.
“Nonetheless, I went through that pain”
I said. “How about you ?”
She looked at me. As she was waiting for the question for a very long time to answer. She took a deep breath and looked towards the stream of water. After a little pause she started,
“It has been a difficult road for me since you left, I always tried to fill the void of your absence, But in one or another form it always came back again and again” She continued. “I could not get a feel of real happiness as I always wanted to share it with you. Lots of people came and went away from my life, but seeing you go away was the most painful, I could never accept the fact that we will never see each other again and I always convinced my heart that you are still around me and we still know each other and this thought never made me feel calm.”
She said with no feelings on her face as all the tears has already been dried up in past decade. She kept going.
“And with time it felt like you will never come, A thought of approaching you was always poking me in my mind, but i was too afraid to face the reality of you getting along with your life with another girl. Very long years passed in me fighting with my feelings. And with time, You became a memory and i started to believe that we never even met. You coming in my life, spending time with me, laughing, playing, was just a dream, And it broke me even more”
I was silent. I knew she never hated me and she too was aware of the fact that I always loved her.
“Where is your husband ?” I asked
“My parents got myself married to a person I didn’t know. He works in reputed firm, earns well, travels abroad. Its been 10 years since I am living with him but still think I dont know him even now” She said looking at me completely puzzled.
“You can not carry on like that ” I did not know what to say. I could only give her a advise.
“Look at me , I have a family, loving people around me. And every thing is good. You only have to take things positively.” I know I was lying. I could not explain my emptiness just like she had explained. But I was so good at hiding her for last 18 years.
“I am happy for your attitude.” She said looking at me constantly.
“This is getting too late, We should leave”
My phone was continuously vibrating in my pocket.
“Yes” She nodded.